"Everything keeps falling apart, the washing machine, the toaster, my marriage, the whole damn world!"
It was one of those days. Going to town, the roads were under construction, now for some time. His motorcycle wouldn't start, so he needed to take a taxi. A tooth had fallen out, unexpectedly, and the dentist had consented to see him right away. But it was taking forever to make the normally 10 minute drive and being late, could mean a delay for days. Breathe deeply, one must accept everything, he mantrad in his mind. One can learn from these things. What though? Patience, he guessed. He was always learning that and his patience really had grown, but it never was quite enough. There was some pain where his tooth had been, and that just added to the feeling that everything was in retrograde in the cosmos, and that the universe had abandoned him. He really believed he had its support as long as he was in alignment with the divine, that is, had a pure heart. He wondered how he had strayed.
The dentist was happy to see him, he was only 15 minutes late, and that was within the accepted range of lateness. The dentist told him that there was an inflammation, and that he had to decide whether to have an implant or a bridge. He gave him a prescription to alleviate the pain while he took the time to decide which it would be. He said, "I’ll take the bridge, he had read a book that was all about how implants lead to cancer. And he had all of his implants removed by this very same dentist, even 2 that the dentist had put in.
Meanwhile, he was worried about losing his wife of many years. He really loved her, he really depended on her. She did everything for him, and he had grown totally dependent on her care. But now she had told him just this same morning, that she wanted to leave. He was shocked and couldn’t believe it. "I thought she was happy. What happened?" She said she didn’t want to talk about it. But would prefer to live alone. They never had had any children, he was sterile.
It really was too much for him to absorb, like sometimes when you hear someone close has died. This day had to be one of the worst in his whole life. He decided to walk back home, which might take about an hour, just to let things settle, and see if he could figure out what to do next. So he began the long trek up the mountain road to where he lived. He couldn’t believe she really was leaving. Was there any chance she could be persuaded to stay? It seemed likely not, since she had been so firm this morning. What had he done wrong, he pondered. He always paid her lots of attention and really appreciated everything about her. Its true he was often busy with the internet, and his focus really did exclude her at those times. He just felt that there was so much information he needed to learn, just to navigate through this life.
Everything was so confusing. The whole world seemed to be falling apart. And he felt so helpless about it. Also, he questioned his relationships, how deep were they really? He couldn’t tell the falseness from the real. His intuition just wasn’t reliable. So many times he had been betrayed by so called friends. He was too trusting, like a child. Suddenly, a taxi pulled over in front of him, a friend was beckoning him to get inside. He climbed aboard.
"Hola my friend, how are things?"
“Honestly, i don’t know any more", he answered. "I feel lost.” A concerned look appeared on his friend's face. "Come with me, I am hiking to the waterfall and I would appreciate your company." His friend was someone he really respected, always kind and thoughtful. He seemed rather wise and had had an extraordinary life. They got out at the trailhead, and began walking.
"Are you still with your wife?", he asked his friend, knowing that they lived in separate countries. "No, we have decided to go different ways. We have 3 grown sons, and both of us keep close contact with them".
"My wife is leaving me", he blurted out suddenly. "I don’t even know why. I don’t know what to do. Today, could be the worst day of my life. It seems that everything is falling apart.”
His friend gave him an empathetic look that felt so sincere that he felt moved to hug him. "We are always going to be encountering difficulties and losses my friend, we all share in that. Just sit with it, for awhile, and imagine that somehow, things will work out in the end in your favor". I took his words to heart and began to breathe a little easier.
Writer's Group, Vilcabamba 9/12/18
Everything keeps falling apart, the washing machine, the toaster, my marriage, the whole damn world!
All the Little jail birds went tweet
Are all microsms a reflection of one inner reality
Senator John mcains foreign policy went bam, bam, bam bamiran
Change seems to be in the wind.
The linguist twisted all his Word into bagel like smoke rings
I put cream on my tongue to write a poem.
The source of all positive change is a change of heart.